Saying I do before the real ‘I Do’ - Picking the right celebrant for you.

Your celebrant is so much more than just the person who reads some legal words and signs your paperwork.

They’re your storyteller.
Your vibe-setter.
Your calm in the chaos.
The one standing beside you as you take a massive (and emotional!) leap into married life.

So yeah, choosing the right celebrant is kind of a big deal.

Whether you’re still in the “just browsing” phase or you’ve already got a sneaky crush on someone, it’s worth asking a few thoughtful questions to make sure your celebrant isn’t just available — but actually the right fit for your love story.

Let’s talk about what to ask—and why these questions matter.

The practical stuff

Start with the basics:

• Are they free on your date?
  Even if you haven’t booked your venue yet, it’s totally okay to check their availability or ask if they can hold the date while you finalise plans.

From there, get curious about what’s included. Every celebrant structures their services a bit differently, so ask things like:

• Do they include a wedding rehearsal?

• Will they help with writing your vows?

• Do they supply a PA system (and know how to actually use it)?

• How many meetings will you have?

• Will they lodge the legal paperwork and help you order your official marriage certificate?

And if legal forms make your brain melt (relatable), don’t stress — your celebrant should walk you through the whole process step by step.

You’ll also want to know how they’ll support you in the lead-up to your big day.

• Can you read your ceremony script in advance?

• Will they help shape the timeline?

• What if one or both of you are nervous about public speaking or big emotions?

These aren’t just “nice to haves”. These are the kinds of things that are essential and can make all the difference — not just in how your ceremony sounds, but in how you feel while you’re standing up there.

Finding the right fit

(aka the vibes)

Once the logistics are covered, it’s all about connection. You want someone whose energy feels right — someone who makes you feel seen, calm, and celebrated.

Ask how they approach writing ceremonies:

• Are they crafting something unique for every couple?

• Do they take the time to get to know your story?

• Will your ceremony sound like you, or like a copy-paste job with your names swapped in?

And then — especially if you’re queer, trans, disabled, neurodivergent, culturally diverse, or just doing things your own way — ask the big, beautiful questions:

• How do you support LGBTQIA+ couples?

• Can we have a ceremony with no gendered language?

• Can your ceremony structure flex around disability, sensory needs, or chronic illness?

• We’re not religious — can the ceremony still be meaningful and sacred?

If they make you feel weird for asking, walk away. You deserve a celebrant who doesn’t just accept you — they celebrate you, fully and joyfully.

Just in case ask:

• What happens if they can’t make it on the day (illness, emergency, etc.)
  It’s rare, but a good celebrant will have a clear backup plan and a trusted network to draw from.

One more question I love when couples ask:

• “What do you love most about being a celebrant?”

It’s not essential, but it gives you a little peek into what lights them up — and helps you decide if they’re the kind of person you want beside you during one of the most powerful moments of your life.

You’re allowed to be picky

You don’t need to “just get it done.” You deserve a celebrant who:

• Gets your vibe and reflects it beautifully

• Makes the whole process feel easy, supported and joyful

• Creates a ceremony that feels like you - not a Hallmark movie template

So ask the questions.
Trust your gut.
And when you find someone who makes you feel calm, excited, seen and celebrated — that’s your person.

I’ve even created a handy little guide to help you through this part of the journey. It’s got thoughtful questions, space for notes, and reminders of what to look for when you’re meeting with celebrants.

I’ve also included the word version for accessibility.

And hey, if you’re looking for someone queer, affirming, emotionally intelligent, a little cheeky and a lot heartfelt… click the button below 😉 Let’s chat.

Your Queer Celebrant

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Your Queer Celebrant 〰️